Chaos has been in command for the last couple of months. I’m back to the real world and finally out to write something. There’s been something churning in my head the past few days. It may not be as funny as Andrea would like…but thinking once I deal with the gorilla in the room the creative juices will come back. (and okay, now that is it written, it’s still funny)
The figures are crazy as far as divorce goes – the latest figure I heard 52% of marriages – inside the church end in divorce. Then there are those couples who never marry but have children & split up.
People seem to think that divorce or a break up is going to solve their problems. And perhaps if there are no children involved it will solve some of the issues.
But, I have had a few women approach me – thinking that as a divorced woman, I’ll be sympathetic – that they want to leave the father of their child. “He’s just not that involved. He works too much. I can’t depend on him. We just aren’t getting along.”
I will tell them 9 times out of 10 they ought to just suck it up & figure it out…
Guess what? It doesn’t get any better if you’re not under the same roof! You have a whole pile of extra problems that come along if you try to separate your lives. Things you can’t even fathom. My ex-husband walked out 6 years & I can tell you it solved one problem & created 100’s. I am no longer married to a an unfaithful man – that’s the only problem it solved. All the rest of them are still knocking around in wind.
My daughter still sees a man who can’t stay with one woman. He’s still a workaholic who doesn’t spend enough time with his kid…and I could go on – but I’d rather not. Because one thing remains – you see until one of the 3 of us is dead – I still have to deal with him on a regular basis.
Today, I am asking my prayer warrior friends to pray for a woman I have never met & who has made my life a living hell. Why? Because she was my husband’s final mistress before we finally divorced & became a part of my daughter’s life a couple of years ago. My daughter hasn’t seen her in almost 18 months & will never see her again. But, we have learned this woman had a stroke. My sweet child want her to recover. So, I appealed to everyone I could think of to pray for a woman I think less of than what I scraped off my shoe this morning. Yes, that’s the reality of divorce.
Someone said to me “Oh, you’ll look forward to when it is his weekend.” At the time, that friend had no children of her own. Today, that same friend can’t even send her child with a sitter to have dinner with her spouse. I think she’s changed her tune. In reality, I’m ready for my daughter to come back home about 6 hours after she’s gone. That’s enough time for me to clean the house & run all my errands. Once in a while – over night is good so I can go out with the grown ups. But normally – give me the couple of hours & the pets & I are ready for her to be back.
The first time your kid leaves you feel like you’re going to rip in two. This is why they invented 24 hour WalMart because – that’s where you end up at 3am. Staying home alone makes you batty. Instead you spend $300 on toilet paper & wander the aisles until you collapse from exhaustion. That’s the glamourous life of a newly single mom.
Then there are holidays and life events to negotiate. Who gets to do what. And remember when you and your husband argued about _______________ that you didn’t want you kid to do, but he did. You no longer have any control. TV’s in the bedroom, poptarts for breakfast, skydiving lessons, gun cleaning, alligator wrestling, motorcylce riding, skateboarding with no pads – you guessed it – he’s doing it all the first moment he’s got your child all to himself.
Oh yeah. Divorce rocks…